Research from a variety of perspectives reveals that when we push our children to be independent before they’re ready, it can often be counterproductive, making them more dependent instead. For example, if a toddler is afraid to be alone at bedtime, and the parent forces him to do so, the feeling of fear once the parent closes the door may amplify. The next night, this fear and panic and dependence are even greater because, while you may have been ready for that move toward independence, your child was not. When children are afraid and their parents push them too hard too soon, they will often feel flooded with uncomfortable emotions and bodily sensations.It is demonstrated that there’s a line we must walk in terms of how far we push our kids outside of their comfort zone in order to successfully promote independence. If parents don’t push at all, the child will stay confined within her comfort zone and won’t overcome her discomfort and fear about taking on new independence or a new experience.When parents push their children gently, incrementally and with lots of support, children learn to tolerate more, and they begin to have experiences that let them feel stronger and more independent. For example, when a mother wanted to help his son not feel so fearful about going to the bathroom or upstairs without her, she would sing loudly so he could hear she was close, but not right next to him. He saw that he could feel comfortable doing these things without his mother.Task 1. Answer the following questions.1. When does the process of making a child independent become counter-productive?___________________________________________________________________________________2. Why did the child’s fear and panic, dependence seem to be greater the next night?___________________________________________________________________________________3. What will happen if parents don’t push their child at all?___________________________________________________________________________________4. What is the best way to help children more independent?___________________________________________________________________________________5. Why could the boy in the last paragraph feel comfortable?__________________________________________________________________________________

pentagonh2001 3/13/2025 9:58:59 AM

Research from a variety of perspectives reveals that when we push our children to be independent before they’re ready, it can often be counterproductive, making them more dependent instead. For example, if a toddler is afraid to be alone at bedtime, and the parent forces him to do so, the feeling of fear once the parent closes the door may amplify. The next night, this fear and panic and dependence are even greater because, while you may have been ready for that move toward independence, your child was not. When children are afraid and their parents push them too hard too soon, they will often feel flooded with uncomfortable emotions and bodily sensations.

It is demonstrated that there’s a line we must walk in terms of how far we push our kids outside of their comfort zone in order to successfully promote independence. If parents don’t push at all, the child will stay confined within her comfort zone and won’t overcome her discomfort and fear about taking on new independence or a new experience.

When parents push their children gently, incrementally and with lots of support, children learn to tolerate more, and they begin to have experiences that let them feel stronger and more independent. For example, when a mother wanted to help his son not feel so fearful about going to the bathroom or upstairs without her, she would sing loudly so he could hear she was close, but not right next to him. He saw that he could feel comfortable doing these things without his mother.

Task 1. Answer the following questions.

1. When does the process of making a child independent become counter-productive?

___________________________________________________________________________________

2. Why did the child’s fear and panic, dependence seem to be greater the next night?

___________________________________________________________________________________

3. What will happen if parents don’t push their child at all?

___________________________________________________________________________________

4. What is the best way to help children more independent?

___________________________________________________________________________________

5. Why could the boy in the last paragraph feel comfortable?

___________________________________________________________________________________

8. UNIT 8. Becoming independent

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